what are you "all about?"
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podcasting
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the x-games
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24
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the benjamins
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xbox 360
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leno
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pan-asian cuisine
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sudoku
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christianity
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best spam
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hook up with a pretty woman tonight. hideous.
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Re: Go to the devil!
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afraid of, old ass?
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vernal ang randy girls are awaiting you!
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Lozenges for Stallone
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pussyjuice 4 horse
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Hey Man, online links to girls for dinner
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Does your mother want you to go online?
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dribbling when you want to shoot?
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Don't try to "cheer up" a depressed person
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what type of television character would be most likely to positively influence your purchasing decisions by making an endorsement?
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doctor
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lawyer
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policeman
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working parent
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wizard / science fiction
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if your home were to be destroyed by catastrophic flooding following a hurricane, how would you prefer the hurricane be named?
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chester
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laquisha
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chuck
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"brownie"
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aragorn
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tim
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sgt. rock
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what do you think happened after the events pictured above?
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he took the survey
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he golfed
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he quit his job
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he became the new chief
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he became the new xXx
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choose one:
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"john cardinal ratzinger? you're the new xXx."
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white smoke indicating vatican conclave has chosen ice cube as the new pope.
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What title shall we bestow upon Bono?
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World Bank President
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Nobel laureate
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Comptroller
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Darth Bono
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Pope II
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Pope Classic
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Cherry Pope
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NBA All-Star
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Sting
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Bono: the Thai Warrior
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most overrated celebrity
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Ben Affleck
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Pitch Black
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Bono
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Lil Bow Wow
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Colin Farrell
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The Hamburgler
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Tom Hanks
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Nicole Kidman
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Osama bin Laden
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Louis Leakey
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Jonathan Lipnicki
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J. Lo
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Scott Peterson
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Pope John Paul II
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Harry Potter
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Julia Roberts
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Arnold Schwarzeneggar
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David Schwimmer
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Will Smith
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Superman
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Earl Warren
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Bruce Willis
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best pole
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north pole
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south pole
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may pole
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pole position
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polar express
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m leopold bloom
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polka
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best Jamba Juice
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Cransnapplejerry
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Mango Total Offense!
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Meat Me in the Morning
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Waldorf Salad Powerspritz
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Raspberry Police State
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Pederazzmatazz
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who's come out on top in the presidential debates?
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jim lehrer
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gwen ifill
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charles gibson
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bob schieffer
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which is most impressive?
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eminem’s band
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kelis’ millkshake
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bobby brown’s prerogative
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frank sinatra’s way
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billy crystal’s giant
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sweet child of axl rose’s
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i am a gay american.
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i am a great american.
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i am a gray american.
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i am a real american, fight for the rights of every man.
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i am american guy!
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i'm afraid of americans.
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what occupation should be carried out by Segway?
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pizza-delivery boy
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cop
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sherpa
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Paparazzi
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Streetwise vendor
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private eye
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secretary of defense
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Jessica Simpson
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mime
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body double
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NASCAR champion
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architect
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navy seal
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the bourne identity
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the bourne supremacy
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the bourne sobriety
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the bourne home equity
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the bourne colostomy
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the bourne promiscuity
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the bourne alimony
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the bourne pederasty
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best al pacino line:
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“hoo-ah!”
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“say hello to my little friend.”
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“attica!”
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“i fought for you and i still fight for you!”
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“eddie barzoon, eddie barzoon. ha!”
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“i am a scary judge of talent.”
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“iron maiden? excellent!”
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best sport
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rollerball
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pod racing
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tron: deadly discs
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speedball 2
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quidditch
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cannonball run
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battle chess
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what's your opinion of ACCESS: PHIL?
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i love it.
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i hate it.
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i don't understand it.
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i worry that it may be unsanitary.
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i deem it less electable than john kerry.
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it will not induce me to purchase anything from ghostweed press.
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what should justin timberlake rip off next?
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ruben studdard's codpiece
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john kerry's hairpiece
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the elderly
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circle k
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naive internet users
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buckethead's mask
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roy horn's head
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the american taxpayer
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keith haring's style
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best bawdy euphamism for pubic hair
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the fertile loam
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croissanwich
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the dark side of the moon
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nasty loofa
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the forbidden forest
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target of opportunity
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mount olympus
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strawberry fields
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spongiform encephalopathy
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the shire
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sunni triangle
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best sequel
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on golden pond: revolutions
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dude, where else is my car?
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birth of a nation: the new batch
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the godfather and robin
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2 good 2 bad 2 ugly
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paris hilton sex tape episode 2: attack of the clones
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nixon vs. hoffa
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thelma and louise's bogus journey
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baby geniuses 2: superbabies
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has it come to this?
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governor schwarzenegger
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president stallone
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admiral streisand
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pope jagger
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superintendent pacino
|
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secretary of the interior xXx
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harry potter and the new power generation
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harry potter and the pips
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harry potter and the jicks
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harry potter and oates
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harry potter and the range
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harry potter and the wailers
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harry potter and 30 odd foot of grunts
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best new t.v. show:
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thin eye for the fat guy
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black eye for the white guy
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sighted eye for the blind guy
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d.u.i for the drunk guy
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sexiest supreme court justice:
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William Rehnquist
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Ruth Bader Ginsburg
|
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Anthony Kennedy
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Sandra Day O'Connor
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Antonin Scalia
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David Souter
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John Paul Stevens
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Clarence Thomas
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best 11th commandment
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thou shalt lose some weight.
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thou shalt not feed the animals.
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thou shalt not smoke on CTA property.
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thou shalt believe the Internet.
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thou shalt invade Syria next.
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thou shalt not understand.
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where will colin farrell be trapped next?
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another phone booth
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mail box
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womb
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beneath rubble
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bathysphere to the titanic
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colin powell
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favorite war
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hundred years' war
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civil war
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WWI
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WWII
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korean war
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nam
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desert storm
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iraqi freedom
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tastiest girlscout cookies
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do-si-dos
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gingko powercakes
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grunions'n'onions
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shitty crunchers!
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thing mints
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wron!skorss, dark cookies of urdha
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samoas
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Best cartoon foreign policy spokesperson to replace Colin Powell
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Count Warula
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Shooty the Tank
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Dr. 'Pox
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Quag-Myro
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Nearly Headless Muthaffer
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iraq <-> terrorism
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drugs <-> terrorism
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AIDS <-> wolves
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tax cut <-> belgian-basque axis
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n. korea <-> n. korean nukes
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projected ratio of bush presidencies to u.s. wars in the middle east
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2 : 1
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1 : 1
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3 : 4
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1 : 2
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1 : 5
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Which is best?
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the stanley cup
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candy
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zestfully clean
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batboy
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Best as-yet-unclaimed garage-revival band name:
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the Fines
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the Slacks
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the Smokes
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the Monies
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the Corps
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the Fishes
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the Muppets
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the Olds
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the Selves
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the Cannes
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the Sears
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the Stuff
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the Staff
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the Clap
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the Piles
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the Neighbors
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the Adventures of Ford Fairlane
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the Bachs
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the Box
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the Lorax
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the Tourettes
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the Lee Marvin Gardens
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the Green Party
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the Goebbels
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the Weights of a morning unleavened by departed youth, the choice, do I go to moony eric b's and see that really rooking assortment of classic minatures--a thoughtful request from a friend--but all i can think is there's one who'll age gracefully, and a thousand swans all going up in unison know the way better with a thousand years of collective memory than I do to put two feet on a cold wooden floor, ritual ablutions to maintain a finish on something that's deteriorating nonetheless, the question "could i switch to pine-sol?" asked half-asleep, questions at once dreamy and morbid popping into a head that no amount of water can stop from aching--the bladder just doesn't get get big enough, proportionally, with age, only weaker, not at all like ears that grow and grow--so on, so forth, forthing on until the watch i found under some filthy socks says i can stop with the morning gripes, technically at least, if not spiritually, but with no more legal excuse i must proceed.
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Most likely CLUE outcome:
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Colonel Mustard / ballroom / wrench
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Sergeant Pepper / club / spanner
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Al Qaeda / San Francisco or Chicago hospital / anthrax
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Al Qaeda / landmark of high symbolic and economic value / weapons of mass destruction
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the CIA / Yemen / Hellfire missile fired from unmanned Predator aircraft
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Someone / kitchen / Dina
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Dick Cheney / undisclosed location / copy of Hustler, ribbed athletic sock
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how are you enjoying your life, so far?
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very well
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some reservations
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serious reservations
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not well at all
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N/A
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Most repulsive impersonation of a beloved childhood figure by a celebrity caked in disfiguring makeup:
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the cat in the hat / mike myers
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santa claus / tim allen
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the grinch / jim carrey
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jack frost / michael keaton
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mario / bob hoskins
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moses / charlton heston
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charles foster kane / orson welles
|
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8-bit
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16-bit
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20-bit
|
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24-bit
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387-bit
|
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Napster
|
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AudioGalaxy
|
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Gnutella
|
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Colostomechan
|
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Tune Captain Wanklesmith
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BornAgainDoggyFarm
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Bonejob
|
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Virgin Megastore
|
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Most convincing Jack Ryan (past, present, or future):
|
Alec Baldwin
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Harrison Ford
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Ben Affleck
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Will Smith
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Tom Clancy
|
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Jason Bourne
|
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|
What song should Greentrials write next?
|
"The emperor of Public School 319"
|
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"Let's not talk about my doppelganger"
|
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"Robotz be ballin'"
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"How could you leave me for a hobbit?"
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"Robotz be scammin'"
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[Skit: fistfight with Thom Yorke in alley]
|
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|
Which statement is not true?
|
A cockroach can live a week without water.
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A cockroach can live a week without a head.
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A pair of cockroaches can produce a million offspring a year.
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A cockroach is digusting.
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A cockroach will come down and save us all.
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Should we put up a new poll?
|
Yes
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No
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|
Meat substitute of choice:
|
Tofu (soy)
|
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Quorn (fungus)
|
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Soylent Green (people)
|
|
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Meat (animals)
|
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Meat II (space animals)
|
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Abstinence
|
|
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Red Alert
|
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Orange Alert
|
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Yellow Alert
|
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Blue Alert
|
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Green Alert
|
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If it feels good, do it.
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Let's roll.
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